After I posted my CIF story, I began thinking back to meeting each one. It's funny how we are all so incredibly different, yet have connected in a fundamental and very meaningful way. These wonderful people, whom I have never met in person, are among my most trusted friends. And, in most cases, meeting them was pure joy. All except claw71.
I first met many of my CIFs on Passive Aggressive Notes. I'm not sure how I ended up there in the first place, but I was intrigued by the comments section. Often the comments were funnier than the notes and there was an obvious camaraderie among several posters. There was also the tendency to gang up on posters who were nasty, acted superior, or were just plain unfunny. I tentatively posted a few things and was happy to see that Mishee had accepted me into the cool crowd - she was quite the central figure in those days on PAN.
The one person I was intimidated by was claw71. His comments were well-written but extremely perverse and controversial. His dark humor was downright scary sometimes! I'm talking, "I might just be a child molester or I might be kidding but you'll never know" kind of scary. I decided to steer clear of him just in case. Not that I'm a child, but I prefer to avoid provoking crazy people. And I wasn't too sure about claw's sanity.
When I finally wandered into the Troublemaker Headquarters, now re-named the Jim Jones-ish 'Community', I was accepted with open arms. This is where the PAN regulars hang out. It's like a virtual living room where we can relax, share funny stories, complain about our lives, and seek comfort from friends. The honesty there is wonderful and sweet. There's still snark and silliness, but with an undercurrent of caring. Political topics can get heated, but there are no grudges kept. Discussions are thought provoking and interesting, yet often the mood is light and joking. Banter and innuendo abound.
It was in TMHQ that I found out that claw is not what he appears to be on the Main Threads. I saw him respond with thoughtful intelligence and even (dare I say it?) kindness. He could still sling some scary stuff, but I was no longer afraid. In fact, I love to engage in banter with him and have called him to the message boards when he has been absent and we are in need of his special brand of humor.
I should warn you: Do NOT run over to PAN and hope to become claw71's BFF. Don't expect to be welcomed without earning some respect on the Main Threads. We do have standards, after all. But the effort is worth it. At least it was for me. My CIFs at PAN saw me through some dark days. They have given me advice and pep talks and support. I love each and every one of them. Even claw71.
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