Friendship

Friendship can be an interesting dilemma. Say, for example, you are with a group of friends and one steps up with a problem. The group, having known each other for years and being very good friends, were quick to offer advice. Now, out of love for this friend, some of the advice may have been overzealous or unfair to the other parties involved in the problem. It may have been harsh. Some may have been helpful and some may not. The bottom line was that the friend came to this group for advice, opinions, and to get something off of his chest. This was all said in a private room, so that no feelings would be hurt or words misinterpreted or overzealousness treated as the norm.

Now suppose the others involved in the problem somehow have recorded and listened to the advice. Not knowing these friends very well, they take everything very badly and get angry and hurt. You really can't blame them. The friends were pretty vituperative. These others had every right to be hurt.

But. Remember the friend with the problem? This listening in was part of the problem. It all goes full circle. Now it would seem everyone is hurt, the recording is destroyed, and everyone is worried about the friend with the problem because he isn't responding to calls.

There's the dilemma. Nobody wins. Everyone is upset and/or worried.

My solution? If you don't trust someone and feel the need to snoop or listen to conversations to which you were not invited, something is inherently wrong and should be addressed. Without trust, what do you have? This should never have gotten to this point and left not only those "others" feeling bad, but also the group of friends feeling violated. The privacy of the room was the safeguard and it was broken.

We all need a place to vent safely. Even if we talk shit about someone because we think they are hurting our friends.