My Personal Addiction

Everybody seems to be claiming addiction as the cause of all of their problems. Every time a celebrity does something stupid they claim addiction. It's getting a little tiresome, don't you think? I mean, couldn't Tiger Woods just admit that he's a man-whore and took advantage of his fame to sleep with every woman that was willing? Maybe he would be less of a punchline. Maybe not, but at least it would be honest.

But, since it is in vogue to claim that any misstep is due not to a weakness of character or bad judgement but because of an addiction and thus completely out of my control, I have a confession to make. My name is Dorothy and I am a mascara and eyeliner addict.

Dual addictions are the most difficult to deal with, as you may have heard, and I struggle each day with mine. In fact, today I spent at least ten minutes artfully layering black and purple eyeliner and smudging each with a flat brush before adding three coats of midnight black mascara. When I finally took stock of the finished effect, I realized that I had hit a new stage in my addiction. I looked into the mirror and saw Ke$ha's future.

And I was afraid.

I am confessing my addiction here in hopes that I will find a way to conquer it. Not really. I had more to say about this, but the mall will be open soon and I want to go and get some of that mascara with the vibrating wand.